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    • Weekly Tweets for 2010-03-07

    Posted on March 7th, 2010

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    Weekly Tweets for 2010-03-01

    Posted on February 28th, 2010

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    Charity Funds

    Posted on February 26th, 2010

    I today received an email that was both saddening and uplifting, I want to share it with you today. Below it I have posted my reply which I hope reaches Mr Adada in time.

    Hello Friend,

    I am Mr. Adada an Oil merchant in Iraq; i have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.

    It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts, just recently my doctor inform me i have a few weeks to live due to the esophageal cancer. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of fifteen million dollars $15, 000, 000,00 that I have with a Financial institution abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations. It may interest you to know that i once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

    I have set aside 10% for you and for your time.

    God be with you.

    Mr. Adada

    Dear Mr Adada,

    I thank you compassionately for your email. I am saddened to learn of your terrible plight, the ferocity of which is such that you have gone from having months to live, to having just weeks left, by the time I had finished reading the first sentence. I am responding immediately to your request as I fear that by the time I finish composing this email you will merely have days remaining on this mortal earth. My heart weeps at the thought.

    I am also particularly horrified at your revelation that oesophageal cancer has “defiled” all forms of medical treatment. This is astounding news and must be raised at the highest levels of government. We need medical treatment for us to get better and cannot afford to have it defiled by a cancer such as this. It could signal the end of the NHS as we know it. We must act fast as there may still be time to do something. I implore you to email our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, and tell him everything you know.

    Back to your personal situation, I wouldn’t worry too much about all that selfishness stuff; it is the trait that defines the modern businessman, and I’m sure you always acted selfishly in a very selfless and benevolent manner. I personally think it should be everybody’s goal to make all the money in the world. If one man had all the money in the world he could share it out properly and there would be no wars or diseases, like the awful one you are now afflicted with.

    Perhaps you have judged your family a little too harshly and they are actually trying to make all the money in the world so that they can make the planet a better place? I’m sure they wouldn’t have kept your money for personal gain. God will judge them when their time comes, unless they’ve already bought him of course. Which is what I would do if I had all the money in the world; then there would be no arguing about God and Religion and things like that.

    So in short I am honoured that you have chosen me and would be happy to help out but I think I have a better idea that I’d like to run by you. If I raise it up the flag pole and see if you salute? How about instead of dishing your $15 million out to charities, who would probably misuse it, you give it all to me and I start to amass all the money in the world? That way I can make a real difference as I really don’t trust these so called “charities”. I would of course waive my 10% fee for this arrangement.

    Also, if you gave me the contact details of your family as well I could get in touch with them and we could maybe pool resources. We’d get to our target much quicker by working together. If we move swiftly there may still also be time to save all forms of medical treatment from this cancerous defilement.

    I am available to go collect your money anytime. I own a large suitcase that I’m confident will house the notes and I also have some dark glasses, trench coat, and Panama hat that enable me to melt into the crowd. I’d need to order a passport though if the money is abroad so let me know early as they can take months to process.

    Sadly, I am not sure we will manage this within your lifetime as even the length of time this email has taken to write must now see you with just hours before you meet your maker. So I kindly request that you leave me your instructions on how you would like me to use all the money in the world. It will be your final legacy and an Adada-stamp on the rest of humanity.

    I sit eagerly by my laptop awaiting your reply and truly hope I can make a difference in the world. I feel that this is my time and your $15 million is just the start of big things for me, I mean for the human race. Hopefully in the minutes that you have remaining you can give me the location of the money and I can begin this noble quest.

    Yours in waiting,

    I genuinely have sent this reply and eagerly await a response.

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    JT Shows His Hand

    Posted on February 25th, 2010

    Not one to miss a trick, and employing admirable tactics, former England captain, and dubious ‘bessie mate’, JT declares his interest in the jilted Princess Cole.

    The picture is genuine as that is definitely JT’s writing. It’s the same as my JT autograph that I bought off him for a very reasonable £500 on Ebay.

    JT-CC

    She can’t marry JT anyway. Apart from the fact that Chezza & Tezza (and The Sun will almost certainly tag them with this) sound like the ultimate scallies, she needs to minimise the disruption on her life and I like the suggestion in Viz LetterBocks that she should marry Joe, Carlton or Nat King. That way she can keep her surname.

    Apparently, Ash won’t apologise, Chezza wants a “quickie” divorce, and I couldn’t care less if I tried.

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    Weekly Tweets for 2010-02-22

    Posted on February 21st, 2010

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    Weekly Tweets for 2010-02-14

    Posted on February 14th, 2010

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    Football Marksman Doesn’t Miss

    Posted on February 13th, 2010

    I’m sure we’ve all wanted to be able to kick a football into shopping trolleys and bins like this guy can. I bet he’s actually rubbish at 5-a-side though, can’t tackle to save his life.

    Enjoy!

    Se Busca (Muy Bueno) – Fine Footy Skills

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    Top 20 Guilty Rock Pleasures

    Posted on February 12th, 2010

    Impossibly, this list started as a Top 10, quickly became a Top 30, and ultimately had to be ruthlessly whittled down to a Top 20. Patently I have too many guilty pleasures.

    What follows is a rogue’s gallery of Rockerati who have perhaps, over the years, found themselves on the more cynical side of rock opinion. There will be some among you reading this aghast, shocked that I have labelled your favourite song of all time a guilty pleasure. To those people I simply say, keep it quiet.

    There’s just one rule to this list…

    The songs have to be (relatively) well known. There are plenty of songs I love that are not fit for general consumption, and as such have never reached public consciousness. Probably never will. It would be too easy to choose from those songs. This list is a list of (relatively) popular songs that have undoubtedly been ridiculed, sneered at, or held in general disdain; either the song or the band, often both. But they get my head nodding and I’m not ashamed to admit to them all as guilty rock pleasures.

    Now then, now then, without further ado, as one Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile OBE would say of a Thursday evening, straight in at Number One is…

    1.     Journey – Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)

    From 1983’s Frontiers album, the zenith of their power ballad era which turned them into stadium rockers. Although this sold by the bucket load and saw Journey at the height of their success, just take a look at the video to see why it can only be a guilty pleasure. Journey’s best selling albums have been labelled among the worst number one albums of all time by Rolling Stone so they obviously divide opinion.

    2.     Y&T – I Believe In You

    It doesn’t get much better than ‘Rescue Me’ but this monster, the final track of 1981’s Earthshaker album, manages it. Y&T never made it large for some reason – listen to Dave Meniketti’s geetar solo build and build on this and, like me, you will wonder why not. They’re still plugging away on greatest hits tours, but with smaller hair.

    3.     Magnum – Vigilante

    The title track of 1986’s Vigilante album; tantalisingly placed at track 8 and well worth waiting for. Tony Clarkin’s step onto Commercial Road threw open the gates to their most successful period. Keyboards up, geetars down, and Bob Catley hamming it up.

    4.     Scorpions – Rock You Like A Hurricane

    Over the top video, typical of the age, with Ronnie James Dio doppelganger, Klaus Meine, doin his German thang on this “rock anthem” from 1984’s ‘Love At First Sting’. ‘Wind Of Change’ this is not thankfully. Scorpions have a new album in the pipeline for 2010, cleverly called ‘Sting In The Tail’.

    5.     Saxon – Wheels Of Steel

    From The Mighty Saxon’s 1980 album of the same name, this is the Barnsley boys at their finest. The way it kicks back in at the end…wonderful. Biff Byford is a moody Yorkshire ****er, I said Rocker, and is looking alarmingly like a tattooed Saruman these days. I can’t decide if Harvey Goldsmith succeeded or failed.

    6.     Dio – Holy Diver

    Rifftastic title track of Ickle Ronnie’s 1983 opus that kicks in like a sleep twitch. Another amusing video chock full of Ronnie’s customary medieval imagery. Did you know he invented the heavy metal salute? And Dio in Italian means God? Maybe explains the little man syndrome?

    7.     Queensryche – Eyes Of A Stranger

    The closing track of their 1988 concept album, ‘Operation Mindcrime’. Concept album I hear you ask. Yep and it is stunning. Honest. Queensryche are technically superb, with a gifted singer in Geoff Tate, but often, criminally, mocked. Just watch this guy nail Scott Rockenfield’s drums to appreciate the complexity of this personal fave.

    8.     W.A.S.P. – The Idol

    A slowy from another concept album, 1992’s ‘The Crimson Idol’. I’m a sucker for concept albums, a fact proven by me being just about the only person on the planet who like’s Kiss’s The Elder. This is a slow building ballad that’s some way from the wild chainsaw codpiece days of mid 80’s Blackie Lawless. Crimson Idol tells the story of fictional rock god Jonathan and the trappings of fame. It’s completely indulgent and I listen to it often.

    9.     Marillion – Kayleigh

    From their 1985 epic, ‘Misplaced Childhood’. Marillion are another band not averse to the odd concept themselves. Derek Dick weaves his overly complex fishy lyrics around smooth synths and the result is…Prog. Wonderful, unadulterated, Prog. Another dodgy 80’s video though with Fish bearing a passing resemblance to Neil from The Young Ones.

    10.    Kiss – I Was Made For Loving You

    The first track off Dynasty, released in 1979 to collective groans. Probably. This is when the painted ones went all disco on us and attempted Diana Ross. Gaudy unabashed showmanship at its best and one you can’t help liking or dancing to. It’s matured with age like a fine, erm, Motown track.

    11.    Cinderella – Bad Seamstress Blues, Fallin’ Apart At The Seams

    From 1988’s Long Cold Winter. A bluesy rocker that was a move away from their glam debut. The glam tag has stuck though and for that they fall into the guilty pleasure category.

    12.    Twister Sister – I Wanna Rock

    “What do you wanna do with your life?” demands the sadistic teacher. The answer was obvious to Dee Snider and this was the product – a cracking glam metal anthem, with hilarious video, that you will find on 1984’s Stay Hungry. Snider gained much credibility for his opposition to Tipper Gore’s PMRC movement but not a great deal for his music. Interestingly Snider is bezzie mates with Mick Foley; he of Dude Love, Cactus Jack and Mankind WWE fame.

    13.    Motley Crue – Wild Side

    Summing up everything that was 80’s glam metal, with huge hair and a virtually naked Tommy Lee strapped into his mammoth rotating drum kit. Take a walk on the wild side with this ditty from 1987’s sweet and innocent Girls, Girls, Girls album.

    14.    Ratt – You’re In Love

    More 80’s glam metal with this stonker from ‘Invasion Of Your Privacy’, Ratt’s third album released in 1985. It’s up there with ‘Round & Round’ from an era when Ratt were firmly in the eye of the glam metal storm. Still fronted by part time porno model Stephen Pearcy and powered by the riffs of delightfully named lead geetarist, Warren DeMartini, Ratt are still going and have a release planned for 2010 called Infestation.

    15.    Foreigner – Cold As Ice

    From their 1977 debut, and self-titled, Foreigner album. Listen to that futuristic keyboard when it kicks in. I’m not sure this should be in here due to Foreigner’s success but successful does not mean good, and their slide through the 80’s and 90’s into the softer side of rock has eroded their cred, making them a prime candidate for guilty pleasures.

    16.    Genesis – Land Of Confusion

    From 1986’s Invisible Touch – the height of their popularity/depth of their credibility. A great Spitting Image video about the cold war accompanies a song that I can’t help but like. Can you?

    17.    Iron Maiden – The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg

    Stonking anthem from their last album, released in 2006. A slight reversal of my guilty pleasures so far in that this is a recent release from a band who had cred and lost their way a bit. They regained it in spades with the Matter Of Life & Death album and this track in particular. When it drops in around 2 minutes it can make the hairs on my neck bristle.

    18.    Sweet – Love Is Like Oxygen

    This was their last hit single, a year or so before Brian Connolly left the band. You will find it on their sixth album, Level Headed, released in 1978.  Sweet spent the majority of the 70’s in the charts and on TOTP, balanced precariously on huge platforms. They are one of the godfathers of glam rock and it is ok to like them.

    19.    Status Quo – Roll Over Lay Down

    This was the boogie rockers’ opening track of sixth album Hello! in 1973. A favourite of Corrie’s Les Battersby and that’s good enough for me. Check out Pictures Of Matchstick Men as well and see some Psychedelic 60’s Quo. Is that Martin Freeman on geetar?!

    20.    Pink Floyd – High Hopes

    Final track of 1994’s Division Bell, The Floyd’s final album that you’re not supposed to like. But like it I does and their final recording, with a nod to their past, is up there with anything they have produced in my opinion. It’s possibly dubious to include Pink Floyd in a guilty pleasures run down but their cred comes from Waters era Floyd and anything that came after is usually derided. I’ve linked to the David Gilmour Live in Gdansk version as it’s about the best rendition you will hear. Majestic.

    Post blog note: I did a little research right after writing this and trust me if you think my list is bad I found people citing bands like Stryper, Pantera, Cannibal Corpse, Manowar, Helloween, and *cough* Def Leppard as their guilty pleasures. YouTube these bands and you will see that I am virtually a Britney fan in comparison. Then again, each to his own. Rock on Tommy.

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    Weekly Tweets for 2010-02-07

    Posted on February 7th, 2010

    • New DartsMad Post: : Jaws Wins In Gibraltar http://www.dartsmad.com/darts-news/2010/02/07/jaws-wins-in-gibraltar/ #
    • Very foggy in Scarborough today. Fish & chips in Whitby for lunch after a wander around Robin Hood's Bay this morning. #
    • I 'prognosticate' a weekend of jolly 'japes' in Scarborough is about to ensue. Happy weekend all. double #wordoftheday #
    • We've got one! Other 1 v 1 sports, like darts, where you directly affect t'other player. RT @Ady180: @DartsMadLee Tenpin bowling #
    • Friday Question: are there any other sports, like darts, where it's 1v1 but neither player directly affects the other? #
    • I'm doing some research for a new project, will you help? What annoys you in today's modern world? Please RT and feed back to me nice people #
    • RT @davidblaine: Great ad placement by #McDonalds http://j.mp/9zFulu | #funny #
    • Recognise yourself? Are you one of these Facebook users? http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck #
    • After an 'unlucky' couple of months, a sweet turn of fortune finds me celebrating with Merlot, Brie & Olives. WFH tomoz so get a lie in too #
    • Blimey O'Reilly it's 'gelid' out there tha neet. #wordoftheday #
    • My weekend trip to Scarborough and North Yorkshire Moors is looking like a stupid idea now. Go away snow, the hotels booked. #
    • Just watched The Last Man On Earth (1964) – good and funny at the same time but not a patch on t'book #
    • RT @Bachelorofdarts: Great trophy tragedy story about Paul Nicholson from @stuartpykesport http://bit.ly/bCYH43 #darts #
    • RT @mrchrisaddison: Open http://www.google.co.uk, type "Why does" into the search box. Look at the drop down list. First one. Woah! #
    • New DartsMad Post: : BDO Counties Vote To Reject PDC Offer http://bit.ly/dlYURG #
    • New DartsMad Post: : Nicholson Wins Players Championship http://www.dartsmad.com/darts-news/2010/02/01/nicholson-wins-players-championship/ #

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    World Cup Agony for Hargreaves?

    Posted on February 4th, 2010

    Owen Hargreaves has been omitted from Manchester United’s Champions League squad for the knockout stages, a move which casts a dark cloud over the tenacious midfielder’s chances of making Fabio Capello’s World Cup squad.

    The omission from European action does not mean he won’t play again this season but, as with team mate Michael Owen, time is running out for Hargreaves to prove his fitness and gatecrash the party in South Africa. Capello will not gamble with fitness and Hargreaves will surely need to play at least ten games for his club to register on the steely Italian’s radar.

    The worrying aspect is not the injury itself, which is said to be healed, more the mental fragility of the player following such a lengthy absence. The vibes coming out of Old Trafford are that Hargreaves is finding it difficult to commit fully to playing and is struggling with confidence. This is hampering a return to full fitness and the club are giving him all the time he needs.

    The World Cup clock will stop ticking for nobody though and perhaps Hargreaves has already accepted his fate? At 29 he won’t get too many more chances on the biggest stage and it will be a real disappointment if Germany 06 was his pinnacle with England.

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